finding my feet again

wow.

That was quite a blog break, wasn't it? Almost five months. 

I'd like to say I was busy, so terribly busy, but all I can honestly say is life kinda took over. Or rather, got in the way...

We moved house, AGAIN. Not sure if I told you that. A 1960s beach house just a hop, skip and jump from the Inverloch beach. (Next time I go for a walk I'll count the steps, just so you can be horribly jealous!)

The studio makeover and move was completed, but anyone who knows me or has vistited the studio can tell you that its not "completed". I am endlessly moving things, tweaking displays or asking Drew to make me something or hang something. I think the technical term for the studio is work in progress. And the technical term to describe my behaviour might be obsessive complusive.

I struggled with the balance between homelife, the studio, searching for vintage books and the actually creating part. None were done particularly well, and I'd have to say I'm still struggling with that balance.

A part time job was found to boost the cash flow and pay the bills. Working as a "retail assistant" in a second hand bookshop seemed a good match but I must confess that most of the time I was there I wished I was in my studio working away on new products, finding new wholesale clients and promoting vintage prints.

And, in the biggest news of all, I had the operation. The surgery was almost two weeks ago and I got home almost a week ago. This operation was a very long time coming. My very large uterine fibroids were diagonised in 2004 - EIGHT years ago. At that stage they were already very large, so God knows how long I'd had them! Without suffering from the usual symptoms, I, and every medical professional I consulted, seemed content to let them be, to adopt a wait and see attitude to them. This in retrospect was not wise. In February 2011, the hospital gynocologist who examined me (the first female I had seen about the fibroids) put it all in perspective for me - my uterus was large enough to carry an 18 week baby. Imagine being that pregnant for eight years. 

The stars aligned, finally, and the fibroids were removed in late June. The size and bulk of the uterus and fibroids resulted in complications – I ended up staying in hospital for eight rather than the planned five days. I went home a bit lighter, with a rather impressive scar down my abdomen and a chest infection.

Now I'm home I'm trying to rest and recover and am looking forward to feeling well. All the stories I've heard from others who've had the same operation are positive - feeling lighter, happier, with more energy - I could do with all of that. So while I patiently wait for my happy ending I'm trying to take things slowly, to not do too much, to not rush the recovery. (This will be a challenge because the drugs for the chest infection/asthma complications give you HUGE surges of energy, hence the 3am blog post.) I hope to rediscover my creativity, my creative voice. I hope to start to find the balance in my life. And I'm going to try and smell the roses along the way.

Wish me luck.

Comments

[Andrea]

So happy for you Martine! Was wondering what had happened to the blog. The shop photos look great! Wishing you a speedy recovery.

[Elizabeth]

have been checking in regularly and hoping you were OK - thought of operations & complications and am so delighted thta youy're back, recovering and sound so happy.

[Bianca]

It's so good to see you back online! Wishing you all the best for the recovery and lots of fun playing in the new shop!

[patty]

Take care! I can feel your pain! I had surgery November 4, 2011 for a 5 pound benign mass in my abdomen - almost the size of a full term baby! The worst part was the internal bleeding that started and almost drained me dry. I finally got some of my energy back by early May. I found forcing myself to go for a walk every day while I was recovering helped me get my strength back although it was exausting. I am now starting to exercise, but I still need plenty of sleep. Take it one day at a time and find a little time every day to put yourself first! The new shop looks wonderfule!

[Nic @ Yardage Design]

Lovely to see your blog pop up this morning. Best wishes for a speedy recovery and a creative resurgence!