greenolive

one thing

what's the one thing that changed your life in 2009?

A pile of knit & crochet wash cloths - they have become my favourite form of comfort crafting. And I've realised they make great gifts too. 

While doing some much belated blog reading yesterday, two week ago - can it really be two weeks ago? - I read this post on Holly's decor8 blog. She asks us...What’s the one thing you’ve read recently (online/offline) that has resonated with you and made you think? Why?

As I read through the 76 comments - that's how many there were when I looked, there is bound to be many more now – I found recurrent themes of loss, struggles to live the life you want, and of persuing perfection as a form of life avoidance. At least they were the themes that resonated with me. Maybe there will be other themes for you. The comment that was especially poignant for me was number 16.

While I have hinted at things here in this blog, I haven't really gone into the gory details. To quote Queen Elizabeth, 2009 has been my Annus horribilis. 

The year was full of changes, some that had been brewing for some time. The list of changes looks something like this...mr greenolive not working...my health detoriating...my depression diagnosis, then medication...off work on unpaid sick leave for months...surviving on benefits...my work contract not renewed and me being unofficially unemployed...unable to pay bills due to financial hardship...weekly, then fortnightly counselling sessions...moving house and giving up the studio as we couldn't afford the rent...battling the Centrelink bureaucracy...buying a replacement car that turned out the be a lemon and losing almost $2K as a result...having family support us with cash gifts...having a car accident in the Honda Jazz which meant it was written off before the finance company repossessed it...mr greenolive and I having some time apart...surviving on very little money...

Now that's the glass half-empty view of 2009. And believe me, that's how I viewed things for most of the year. I'm now in a place where I can see a half-full glass. Or at the very least, the potential of a half-full glass. Nothing has changed in terms of circumstances, rather I have learned to see things differently. To respond to things differently.

So currently things look like this...for the first time ever we own a car that isn't under finance (unless you count IOUs to family members!)...I now know that if I don't have a job the world won't end...realising that money isn't the most important thing...I don't have to have a cupboard or fridge full of food and toast is fine for dinner if that's all you have...learning to eat when I'm hungry...living life at a slower pace...really stopping to smell the roses...rediscovering the joys of a newly swept kitchen floor or a stack of washed-up dishes...realising that buying stuff doesn't make me happy...having time to spend with mr greenolive...becoming a less angry, controlling and anxious person...starting to discover who I really am...and what I really want...

None of this growth or these learnings would have been possible if I had stayed in my old life. I was just too busy, distracted, anxious. I didn't choose my new life, it just happened once I was diagonised with depression. I couldn't control things or hold them together anymore, no matter how much I tried. I had to let go and let things be. It was frightening, not having enough money and wondering how we were going to pay the rent, buy food, pay the bills...But each time I worked myself into a state worrying about it, something would happen and money would appear. A good day at the market. An etsy sale. Family coming to the rescue with cash loans.

So, in the spirit of Holly's post, I'd have to say the one thing I have read that has resonated with me is this book - Simple Abundance, a daybook of comfort and joy by Sarah Ban Breathnach. Its a book of daily essays written for women who wish to live a simple, abundant life. Throughout the book the author weaves the six threads of simple abundance into the daily entries: gratitude, simplicity, order, harmony, beauty and joy. Its quite amazing how the topic and quote of a particular day resonates with what's going on in my life, with how I'm feeling. Take today's quote for example...

December 26: Two lives
We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us, Joseph Campbell

The ironic thing is I bought this book in 2002. Yes, seven years ago! If only I could have benefitted from its insights back then! I even bought a copy for my mum, but she says she bought it herself. Regardless, she has her own copy too, and she's been reading it daily for years. 

I made my first attempt to read the book in June 2002. For posterity I'd written the date into the front of the book in metallic silver ink. The attempt was soon abandoned. The second and still unsuccessful attempt was started in January 2007, once again noted in the front in blue metallic ink. During 2009, my Annus horribilis, some days would see me dip into the book, looking for that day's date to see what words could comfort, reassure, soothe or inspire me.

2010, better late then never I say, will see my third attempt to emark on my journey to simple abundance. I'm looking forward to each day unfolding, seeing what it brings and reflecting on Sarah's words and insights. Here's the quote for the first day of a new year...

January 1: A Transformative Year of Delight and Discovery
There are years that ask questions and years that answer, Zora Neale Hurston.

I'm hopeful that 2010 is a year full of answers. Not just for me, but for all of us.

post Magnolia Square

A rather arty view of our stand at Magnolia Square

Its been almost a week since Magnolia Square in Brighton and we're still trying to get back to normal here.

The three-day Magnolia Square market was followed by a day at the Arts Centre market, and my mum visiting for two days. The house is a disaster - boxes of stock, materials and all manner of things strewn around the place. The disaster-free zones are the toilet, bathroom and our bed.

Magnolia Square was good, but not as good as I had hoped. You know what I'm like with my expectations, and how I count my chickens! We didn't make a loss. We covered the rather hefty stall fee – the cost of 11 days at a regular market - and made a small profit. But not enough in my mind to make up for the hours and hours we spent there. If you do the math, its about $33 per hour, and that's for two people!

The general consensus was the numbers were down, perhaps because the Malvern event was just the week before. As this was our first mag square, we didn't know what to expect in terms of sales, or which products would fit the demographic. So we took everything, including a new product, screenprinted teatowels. The kimono silk scarves were very popular, by far the biggest seller. Several are winging their way overseas right now, lovingly wrapped as Christmas gifts for beloved mums, sisters and friends. We got feedback on our Urban Type screenprinted fabrics - perhaps a bit too groovy for Brighton?

Anyway, we survived the market; made a profit, not a loss; I got to spend a day with my mum at the market; and we discovered a fantastic fish and chip shop in Brighton, called Fish Tank. 

So, all in all, a good thing really. The next mag square market can only be bigger and better!

three hours

 

Sunflowers and tea towels

Three hours. That's how much sleep I got Wednesday night/Thursday morning. The to-do list wasn't all crossed off, but enough of it was completed to ensure I was ready for Magnolia Square.

Day one was looooooong. Set up at 7am and 9pm closing. That's a 14 hour day. Bit hard to take after only three hours sleep. We didn't sell out - drats! - but we had steady sales and lots of ohs and ahs over the silk scarves. 

Today, Day two, is a bit more civilised. 10am to 5pm. And, I've had eight hours sleep. It came at a cost to the unfinished to-do list, but hey, that's life.

Better hurry, got an hour before I leave and have to have a shower, have breaky, work out what I'm gonna wear, press some scarves, make lunch.....

one more sleep

less than 24 hours left...

This stack of silk has now been sewn up thank goodness, now awaiting pressing. 

In 23 hours time – fingers crossed! – I'll be in Brighton, at the Town Hall, unpacking and setting up my stand at Magnolia Square.

I suppose, technically, it may be a case of no more sleeps, because if you don't sleep it doesn't count, does it?

Push has become shove. Officially. The to-do list looks a bit like this now...

• finish sewing new vintage silk scarves
• start and finish sewing cushions made from our screenprinted textiles
• finish sewing the assorted tote bags I've cut out and pinned
• design and sew the knit jersey scarves (new product for the market)
• source and screenprint T-towels (new product for the market)
• decide what to do about stand signage
• design stand layout
• try and find display props from stuff around the house (no time or money to buy)
• I'm sure there is something else...

I know I'm not going to get everything done, but we always have ambitious to-do lists don't we? And if I sell out of stock, well, that's a good thing right? Conveys a sense of exclusivity doesn't it?

two more sleeps

til Magnolia Square

Pile of vintage kimono silks all cut and sorted, waiting to be sewn into scarves.

You already know I work best when up against a deadline – its an old trait from my graphic designer days! And it seems this week is proving the rule yet again!!!

Two more sleeps til Magnolia Square and push is about to become shove. My to-do list looks a bit like this...

• finish sewing new vintage silk scarves
• start and finish sewing cushions made from our screenprinted textiles
• finish sewing the assorted tote bags I've cut out and pinned
• design and sew the knit jersey scarves (new product for the market)
• source and screenprint T-towels (new product for the market)
• decide what to do about stand signage
• design stand layout
• try and find display props from stuff around the house (no time or money to buy)
• I'm sure there is something else...

A bit ambitious don't you think? Check back tomorrow – one more sleep - and see how much I've been able to cross off the list!!